How did you come up with the idea of writing The Marrow in Me?
The idea just kind of found me. I was sharing with a good friend’s mother the details of how I went from TV news reporter covering the story about bone marrow donation to actually being sucked into the storyline by fate or faith and becoming a rare bone marrow donor myself. I told her how this led to that and this led to that and on and on and she said, “That’s just too many miracles to be a coincidence. You have a bigger story to tell than maybe you realize. Something is calling out to you.” And you know what? She was right. I knew I had something good to share, but until I put it all down and saw it looking back at me I didn’t realize how good the story was and the impact it could have. I get the chills when I read it and I know others do too.
Who received your bone marrow?
At the time I didn’t know. Because of legalities and privacy issues, unless you’re donating bone marrow to a family member you cannot know who is on the receiving end and where they are. I only knew my recipient was a 16-year-old boy who played football and was the exact same weight as me. So there was a lot of mystery involved.
How do they get bone marrow out of your bones and into someone else? And does it hurt?
Let me answer the second question first because it’s almost always the first question asked. Does it hurt? No, not anymore because doctors finally wised up and made the extraction procedure a general surgery. You’re knocked out under general anesthesia so you don’t feel a thing when it’s happening. You wake up a bit tender--like you slipped on ice and landed on your kiester, but hardly any worse for wear. Years ago doctors pretty much told you to hold on as they drilled into your hip and sucked your marrow out with large needles under little or no anesthesia. It was very painful and painful memories stick with people forever. Now your question about how they get your marrow. I think I just answered it. When the harvested marrow and skimmed stem cells are delivered, the recipient receives it by way of a simple blood transfusion.
You ran in a 26.2 mile marathon to honor the boy who received your marrow. Do you like to run?
I run a couple of miles a week to control my weight. I have a ridiculous sweet tooth and I have to run off those late night cookie binges. I ran in the Honolulu Marathon to honor my recipient and to raise money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Running 26.2 miles is no walk in the park. It was humbling and very satisfying. I think I could only do something like that with the motivation I had going in. And something else, when I was done I inhaled like ten bag of Doritos. I would have had some cookies too but I couldn’t find any. Who was in charge of the food? I want to talk to that guy.
Would you donate bone marrow again?
Absolutely, but it’s very rare that I’d turn up as a match twice. The chance of matching the first time was about one in 200. To match a second time would be about one in two-million. So it’s not likely it would happen but I know someone who matched twice and one of the recipients was the niece of Carol O’Connor (Archie Bunker). Pretty cool huh? If I got the call again I’d do it again in a second.
I was reading your bio somewhere and you’ve lived all over the world—Guam, Hawaii, California, Philly, Boston. How did you manufacture those stops?
I really didn’t make those opportunities happen at all. I just kind of went where the tide took me. But I’m so thankful that I’ve been where I’ve been. Each place has shaped me as a person and I can’t imagine what my life would be like had I not lived in each place. Guam taught me what it was like to be different, to look different from everyone else and to live a new culture instead of just visiting it and studying it. Hawaii is… what can I say? It’s no ka ‘oi. That’s Hawaiian for the best. Hawaii isn’t just a place, it’s the Aloha Spirit—a way of life. And were it not for my time in Hawaii, the people and circumstances that led me to being a bone marrow donor and becoming an author never would have happened. California? What a place. Great weather, great land, lots of stuff to do, laid back people. Philly? My birthplace. I love it. It’s a different planet and again a way of life. Ah the Philly attytude! I can’t explain it but I get it and so does everyone else there. Why not throw snowballs at a skinny Santa Claus at an Eagles game? Feels right to me. And Boston? I walk down the street and every guy who passes by looks like he could be my uncle. Come to think of it, he might be.
You seem to have a zest for life. Where does it come from?
I guess a lot of it has to do with coming from a happy, stable home. For that I thank my parents. They gave us such a good upbringing with love and structure. But we had an opportunity to freelance. My only other job other than TV and writing was caddying. Both jobs introduce you to so many interesting people and you see life for what it is, good and bad. I take the good out of things because the bad can drag you down. But that’s your choice. I’m going to celebrate each day of life because that’s my choice. Hey I look at it this way, if you’re not singing and laughing and dancing you’re not living. I may not sing and dance well but I don’t care. I pretend I’m invisible. That way I’m not self conscious. Plus being on TV for so long has given me ample opportunity to make a fool of myself. What’s one more time? You got to have a sense of humor to bring the house down while singing Karaoke with Manilow tunes.
Tell me about your family now.I have a wonderful wife Jean who’s been with me on all my journeys around the world. It’s been so special to share it together. Really I couldn’t have done it alone. TV is a tough biz. It’s not nearly as glamorous as some might think it to be, so it definitely helps to have someone you love to come home to every night. Plus we’ve expanded. Jean has blessed me with two daughters. They’re awesome. I take them on dates and we do girly stuff. I grew up with all brothers so this is new territory. I love it. Let me tell something, girls know how to live. They help me pick out outfits and get dressed. It’s their world and I’m living in it. And we have a German shepherd. I mean I might need to build the man cave down in the basement in a couple of years, but it really is a beautiful life.
Will you write another book?
I might. When I sat down to write The Marrow in Me I knew very little about the boy who received my marrow. I’ve since learned his name was Adam. I’ve been in touch with his family. Adam you could say was the man of the house at a very young age. The fact that he would go to such lengths to try to live (transplant) when everything else failed tells me he had a zest for life and an amazing will to live. That’s my kind of guy and why I admired him so much. Based on what I know about him we had quite a few things in common. I’m very curious to know what else we had in common. I know I’ll have those answers in due time and I know it will be quite emotional when it all happens.
What do you hope to accomplish with The Marrow in Me and any sequels that you might write?
I just want people to learn that by simply being yourself—all of yourself that you could save a life. Really everyone is a bone marrow match for someone somewhere in the world. It’s just a question of whether they’ll get sick and whether you’ll be ready when the call for help comes. Let me tell you, there’s no greater feeling than to get that call. It’s like the hand of God reaches down from the sky and touches you on the shoulder. It’s a special feeling and such a gift to be able to give a tangible and very personal part of you. But it’s a gift in return too. To be asked to join in something bigger than you is humbling and an honor. Somebody somewhere is going to read The Marrow in Me, register as a potential match, go to transplant and it’s going to work. And when it does that’s going to be the biggest payoff of all. That’s when I’ll know a big part of my life’s work is complete.